999,000 Miles Up in The Air
I am a real life Ryan Bingham.
Like the protagonist in the critically acclaimed movie Up in the Air, I too am at a milestone.
Until recently, I have been loyal to two things in my life; Finesse Shampoo and United Airlines; then, I lost my hair and now it is just been United Airlines.
United has been my “carrier” to safety, to adventure, to business and to loved ones.
People in history ask themselves the quintessential question, “Where was I when Kennedy was shot?” or perhaps “where was I when the Red Sox won the World Series?” For me, I am asking myself “where will I be when I hit 1,000,000 Frequent Flyer Miles and what will happen?”
Long before Up in the Air the Film came out, I read Walter Kirns novel Up in the Air—a brilliant and different story—and I was a kindred spirit with the protagonist Ryan Bingham.
Looking back on my early years, I am not sure how much I had in my backpack.
I started traveling at age 25 when I helped build an iconic American brand. I was young Superman that hit the road and loved everything about it. I couldn’t wait till I boarded a plane and heard the old United Airlines Music playing. I knew the tricks where to stow my bags in the overhead so I wouldn’t be slowed down. My routine included immediately opening my copy of the Hemispheres Airline Magazine and checking my horoscope for the month (since removed). Somehow I believed United Airlines knew me better than anyone, and they were the sage that knew what my month would be like. I smiled at the Flight Attendant as we both mouthed the script about “the tray table being in an upright position” and “lights from the floor will be illuminated”. I loved the pre-IPod, pre lap-top quiet of flights. I was Superman and this plane was my “Fortress of Solitude”
Airplanes were my place to hide from my voice mail, drama and probably commitment as well. For six hours there were no decisions’ to make. Think about it, where in your life are you given an assigned seat?
So now I am a “St. Louis Length” away from 1,000,000 miles. I realize this has not been a quest but, like Ryan Bingham, a lifestyle. And a lifestyle, I relished. While some loath the vanilla hotel rooms, smoky rent a cars and Applebee’s expense account meals, traveling is my passion. It was my opportunity to be one person in Providence and another in Tucson. United Airlines was my conduit to my chameleon nature.
At that point in my life, as sad as it sounds, many relationships I valued included the Agent at Gate 70 in San Francisco and the woman who bumped me up to first class in the B Terminal in O’Hare. The Robin Hood Flight Attendant who stole wine from First Class and brought it to me in my center seat in Coach. Forget Face book, this was a community, this is why I flew.
The cheery on top was the reward of Frequent Flyer Miles. My miles have always been somewhat of a power play I have to admit. I can go to dinner with guys in Manhattan who make millions of dollars at Deutsch Bank, money that I will never see in my lifetime, but I have one thing they do not; freedom. I can walk through Logan Airport; look at a Gate Destination that says “Jerusalem” and go. Free of charge and without anyone or anything tying me down. My miles have given me freedom.
But as only Ryan would understand, I have shared with women how many people I have slept with before --but not how many frequent flyer miles I have; that is a personal question.
Ryan Bingham, my back pack is now filling up. I have met a wonderful woman. Metaphorically and physically, I am now grounded.
So now as I am approaching another milestone; One Million Mile Frequent Flier Miles and I am popping the question to myself; "Where should I be at this milestone and what should I do in flight?”
Should I board the plane with a T-shirt that says, “999,000 miles” and walk on the plane. Where should I be for the millionth mile? I have thought above the Eifel Tower. Or over Mount Rushmore, but technically that flight is managed by a subsidiary like Untied Express, and I feel that is cheating and not the real deal. Maybe I should be over Las Vegas and bet my all miles on one hand. Or bring my girlfriend and join the “Mile High Club”? Even United would snicker at this and turn the other way when the latched door closes on the tiny vertical bathroom. United would have a tough time thinking of a better way to celebrate.
Or maybe I should give the miles away to children to see the world. A very real consideration.
And ala Up in the Air, maybe United Airlines Chairman Glenn Tilton will upgrade me to First Class and sit with me on the flight. We can share stories and suggestions—I have a brilliant Ad Campaign Idea!—and we can be kindred spirits as he hands me Global Service Access, a Black Card and lifetime Red Carpet Club Membership.
If you read this letter and view it as narcissistic in this time of job loss and economic recession, you are missing the point. These miles are my currency; they are in some ways, my memories and stories of my lifetime. They enable me to go places that I could not afford to go.
And that point begs the question, why have I not used any of them? These miles represent the stories and a lifetime of “memories” that I don’t want to “cash” in.
I would be depressed the day I get my United Statement and it reads “0”. It would kind of be like losing my hair again.
So soon I will head to Airport and check in for the flight, which I believe will be next week, and I will have anxiety. The anxiety is not around if United will do something for me to celebrate, it is the fear of the opposite. What if they don’t do anything?
I have loved United Airlines, what happens if they don’t love me back?
The purpose of this essay is not to be bathed in gifts —although who would mind? But, what if the Gate Agent just checks me into 7B a Middle Seat, and does so without fan fare. What if, instead of United Chairman Glenn Tilton next to me, it is Bob Thompson, Financial Planner for Dean Witter and he runs spreads sheets the entire time and I don’t have a chance to share my Milestone with him?
And what happens if the Flight Attendant just offers me juice instead of Champagne and when I disembark, they say “Have a nice day” and nothing else?
I think the most disappointing thing would be if I land, get off the plane, head to a Taxi and ask the driver to take me my hotel.
Silence. Crickets. No gifts or handshakes from airline personal No fan fare.
I may share with Taxi Driver that “I just flew a million miles” And he replies, “Today?”
I will be OK. I have a new love in my life; and the music is sweeter, she is a lot more comfortable, the food is better, there is less turbulence, she is first class and the rewards are better than miles. I am more grounded, emotionally and physically.
As I hit this mileage milestone, I am on a connecting flight to the next chapter of my life. Family, Children. Anniversaries. Commitment. Soccer Games and Ballet Recitals’. These are new relationships. My backpack will be full of wonderful people and new memories. And I can’t wait to take off.
But I do know that I will always be able look at my mileage total and say to myself,
“It’s time to go Up in The Air”.
